What is toxic relationship: this guide will help you identify it

Having a stable relationship that generates enthusiasm, emotional security and happiness is a goal that all women have. We should freely choose to have a partner because we fall in love with someone special and want to share life with him. Unfortunately, sometimes women make a serious mistake in choosing a man to be their partner and both end up having a toxic relationship. This happens for several reasons: she is too much in love, she doesn’t want to be alone, or maybe she wants to have children with that man. Whatever the reason, no woman should have to suffer for love.

We all know that there are love relationships that fail, so we ask ourselves “WHAT IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?” The following are the most important characteristics of this type of harmful bond.

  • AN EXACT DEFINITION: a toxic relationship is one where both partners have a bad time most of the time. Good times are scarce, with a tendency to disappear. The worst thing is that they think they can save that bond, but the reality is that this effort produces a deep emotional burnout.
  • YOUR AUTHENTIC PERSONALITY CANNOT MANIFEST ITSELF: since you are in a relationship you have stopped being yourself to please your partner. You don’t feel motivated at all and no activity excites you.
  • UNSATISFACTORY INTIMATE LIFE: you have sex very infrequently. You agree to be intimate with him out of obligation, when the truth is you prefer to keep sleeping. He is disrespectful, as he compares you to previous partners and says you don’t satisfy him.
  • DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM: your partner disqualifies you as a person, a woman and even professionally
  • YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT HIM: your reality is focused on your relationship and on satisfying him in his demands.
  • UNPLEASANT HOME ENVIRONMENT: in your house you only hear arguments, shouts and fights. There is never peace.
  • THREATS: your partner threatens to physically harm you or kill himself if you leave him.
  • JEALOUSY: he doesn’t want you to get involved with your family or friends. He also doesn’t like you to do activities outside of the relationship: sports, fun, entertainment. You are also likely to be jealous of him. You suspect him of being with other women all the time.
  • GUILT: he blames you for his job and economic failures. Logically you have nothing to do with that.
  • CONTROL OF THE HOME ECONOMY: he questions the money you spend. It is also likely that he will hide money from you and go through economic hardship.

The different types of toxic relationships

Each toxic relationship has its own mechanisms of expression. The following are the most common types of toxic relationships:

  • CHARITY: one of the two does not want to separate so as not to hurt the other.
  • IDEALIZATION: One of the two is very much in love and cannot see the defects of the partner.
  • FAKE: both or one of them wants to project an honest image. This is false, since he/she deceives his/her partner in several ways.
  • CONTROL: one of the two enjoys dominating the other.
  • EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE: one or both partners need to depend on the other to feel good.
  • HATE: one of the two feels resentful towards the other and shows it through manifestations of hate.
  • DISCONSIDERATION: one or neither of them pays attention to the relationship. They prefer to take care of anything else.

Avoiding toxic relationships

Now that you know what it’s like and how a toxic relationship develops, you should work to avoid it or terminate it if you are the victim of such a couple. If you are starting a relationship and soon you notice some kind of toxic behavior you should run away from that bond. The reality is that these types of couples tend to get worse over time. During this process you both are going to suffer a lot, so it is best to end the relationship as soon as possible. At first it is difficult to identify a toxic relationship. So keep in mind that if you feel bad most of the time in that relationship, it’s because you have to separate.

Build strong self-esteem

Having a strong and healthy self-esteem is the best way to prevent toxic relationships. The first thing you must do is become aware of the value you have as a woman and as a human being. Therefore you deserve to live a healthy relationship that makes you evolve in all aspects of your life. Just start doing the activities you enjoy, exercise, go on a trip, fulfill your personal dreams. Remember that you should always make yourself a priority in life. This way you will find a man who respects and values you. When you feel good about yourself, the ideal man will appear.

Emotional support

If you want to avoid a toxic relationship or separate yourself permanently from a harmful bond, you must maintain constant contact with your friends and family. Choose to maintain an affective relationship with the friends that you trust the most. The same goes for your family: talk to those you get along with best. Try to go out, have fun, share experiences. If you feel emotionally contained it is unlikely that you will maintain toxic relationships afterwards. You can also meet new people in your environment. An active social life will keep you in a good mood. You will also have more opportunities to meet a man who meets your expectations.


We all aspire to maintain a stable relationship that makes us happy. Sometimes we make mistakes and end up having a harmful relationship. The first thing you should ask yourself is: “WHAT IS TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?” Such a relationship is one where you have a hard time most of the time. The reality is that these types of relationships never find a solution and tend to get worse. That’s why you can only do one thing: separate yourself for good. Remember that you are worth a lot and deserve to have a loving relationship that inspires you every day of your life.


IVR Announcements

Publication of the proceedings of the 25th World Congress (Frankfurt 2012)

Two ARSP-Beihefte were published containing lectures from the XXV. World Congress in Frankfurt (2011):
1. Ulfrid Neumann/Klaus Günther/Lorenz Schulz (eds.), Law, Science, Technology. Plenary lectures presented at the 25th World Congress of the International Association for Philosophy of Law and Social Philosophy, Frankfurt am Main, 2011 (ARSP-Beiheft Nr. 136 [2013]);
2. Carsten Bäcker/Sascha Ziemann (eds.), Junge Rechtsphilosophie (ARSP Beiheft 135 [2013])

It was further published:
Klaus Mathis (ed.), Law and Economics in Europe. Foundations and Applications, New York: Springer, 2013;
In preparation is: Malte-Christian Gruber/Jochen Bung/Sascha Ziemann (eds.), Autonome Automaten. Künstliche Körper und artifizielle Agenten in der technisierten Gesellschaft, Berlin: trafo 2013.  

The contributions of several other workshops will be published as collected volumes. All lectures that were not published in print (116) are published

IVR Executive Committee 2011/15

Honorary Presidents:
Aulis Aarnio (Finland)
Junichi Aomi (Japan)†
Eugenio Bulygin (Argentina)
Hermann Klenner (Germany)
Enrico Pattaro (Italy)
Carl Wellman (USA)

Prof. Dr. Ulfrid Neumann (Germany)

Prof. Dr. Christian Dahlman (Sweden)
Prof. Dr. Leslie Francis (USA)
Prof. Dr. Ricardo Guibourg (Argentina)
Prof. Dr. Éric Millard (France)

Other Members:
Prof. Dr. João Mauricio Adeodato (Brazil)
Prof. Dr. Fernando Atria (Chile)
Prof. Dr. Pierluigi Chiassoni (Italy)
Prof. Dr. Emilios Christodoulidis (United Kingdom)
Prof. Dr. Svein Eng (Norway)
Prof. Dr. Jorge Cerdio Herran (Mexico)
Prof. Dr. Martin Krygier (Australia)
Prof. Dr. Francisco Laporta (Spain)
Prof. Dr. Kevät Nousiainen (Finland)
Prof. Dr. Byung-Sun Oh (Korea)
Prof. Dr. Marijan Pavcnik (Slovenia)
Prof. Dr. Tetsu Sakurai (Japan)
Prof. Dr. Tomasz Stawecki (Poland)
Prof. Dr. Pauline Westerman (Netherlands)
Prof. Dr. Xu Xianming (China)

Non-voting Members:
Prof. Dr. Lorenz Schulz (Secretary-General)
Richterin am BGH Dr. Annette Brockmöller (Editor-in-Chief of the ARSP)
Prof. Dr. Yasutomo Morigiwa (immediate past president)